We don’t like performance reviews. And most of us REALLY don’t like asking for a raise. But of course we like/need additional money.
Without asking, we may well get small cost-of-living or standard raises of 3-4 percent. But to get more, we usually have to ask. If we don’t, we risk losing out. And performance review time, while not the only time to ask for a raise, is a traditional time to do so.
Americans find it hard to talk about money in general. We are often secretive, so asking for a raise is doubly challenging. In a recent article in the New York Times, best-selling author Daniel Pink points out that asking to be paid more can make us feel vulnerable: it’s a “Will you go to the prom with me?” moment. Nobody likes rejection. It’s embarrassing.
He believes that people “underestimate the chances of getting a yes, and they overstate the negative consequences of simply asking.”
How to feel less awkward when asking for a salary raise.
Mr. Pink suggests pulling in a friend to rehearse with. Find a friend who can pretend to be tough, and to talk you through 3 possible responses to your ask for a raise:
- “Yes”
- “I’ll think about it”
- and an antagonistic “No!”
This practice round will help answer your worry about “what’s the worst that can happen?”. Usually it’s simply that you stay with your current salary — or, I would add, you can ask what you’d need to do to position yourself for a “yes” some months later.
Help your boss advocate for your raise.
Mr. Pink suggests thinking about what position the boss is in. Your boss usually has to sell a significant raise to their boss. Mr. Pink suggests not only talking about your contributions in the past year — but your plan (I’d make that “ideas”) for what you want to work on ( I’d say “what work you could be doing that would most benefit the organization”) in the coming year. Either Mr. Pink’s version or mine can soften the ask — and give your boss talking points in trying to sell your raise to their boss. That can be stressful for them.
How much of a salary increase should you ask for?
Two tips.
- Don’t base it on what you need to have a good life in your city.
- Do base it on your contributions and potential contributions.
Or, if you have reason to believe you are being underpaid, base it on comparables. Check out Glassdoor or Payscale to find what people with your experience and training are earning in your area. And offer up any information you have gleaned about comparable pay scales inside your organization.
Are you getting paid below average even as you are doing your job well — or very well? Basically, you are asking for fairness. A caution: don’t get self-righteous about it — stay calm and positive.
Most bosses do want to be fair. But maybe their bosses are urging them to cut costs as the threat of recession looms.
What if your raise request gets a “no”?
You are usually no worse off — if you’ve stayed positive, not whiny or threatening. But if you could be making more elsewhere, you can start looking. Quietly. Whether it’s a good time to change to a new job is especially complicated right now.